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A Little Monday Lift

Sixteen Really Strange and Funny Things Pastors Have Been Asked to Do

Thom Rainer

“Pastor, I have a rat in my house. Please come get it!”
It’s a true story. I was the pastor. And I was over 30 minutes away from the senior adult who made the “request.” I tried to call several other church members on the phone to get them to help.
I could find no one. Strange.
I chased a rat in the senior adult’s home for over an hour.
I love pastors and church staff. I love hearing their stories. And, on occasion, I like to provide a bit of levity. Such has been my theme this week.
Today, I let these pastors and church staff persons speak for themselves. I made minor modifications to a few so the story does not inadvertently reveal the church members. I don’t want the pastor to get fired. No comments on my part are necessary.
1. “A church member asked, during the Lord’s Supper, if we could have a prayer for her dog that had died earlier in the week.”
2. “A church member called, telling me her neighbor’s sheep were out in the road. Of course, I was supposed to help since I was her shepherd.”
3. “I officiated a funeral where the family did the wave and hit beach balls during the service.”
4. “A lady called me to let me know her son-in-law wasn’t praying long enough before his bed time. She felt I needed to counsel him.”
5. “A church member was a funeral home director. He called me frequently to help him pick up just-deceased bodies.”
6. “A church member called to request I euthanize an injured rabbit.”
7. “I was asked by a church member to bury a dog.”
8. “I got a call from a church member asking me to inform a lady she has grandkids she didn’t know about.”
9. “I was asked to baptize a body at a funeral.”
10. “A lady brought a chirping bird into a worship service and asked me to ignore it.”
11. “I was visiting a member of our church in the hospital. He insisted I hold his kidney stone. I was young, so I did.”
12. “A church member asked me to do a funeral for his horse.”
13. “A deacon, after checking on a clogged toilet in the men’s room, told the pastor, ‘You need to go to the men’s room with me. You’ve got to see this!’”
14. “A church member asked me to put her mother’s funeral on my calendar. She wasn’t dead.”
15. “I was asked to wear a crushed velvet hat for a wedding.”
16. “A church member asked me to do an imitation of a character from The Princess Bride during the wedding ceremony.”
I have no doubt these stories are true. I’ve had many weird requests made of me as well.

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