Skip to main content

A Little Monday Lift

Sixteen Really Strange and Funny Things Pastors Have Been Asked to Do

Thom Rainer

“Pastor, I have a rat in my house. Please come get it!”
It’s a true story. I was the pastor. And I was over 30 minutes away from the senior adult who made the “request.” I tried to call several other church members on the phone to get them to help.
I could find no one. Strange.
I chased a rat in the senior adult’s home for over an hour.
I love pastors and church staff. I love hearing their stories. And, on occasion, I like to provide a bit of levity. Such has been my theme this week.
Today, I let these pastors and church staff persons speak for themselves. I made minor modifications to a few so the story does not inadvertently reveal the church members. I don’t want the pastor to get fired. No comments on my part are necessary.
1. “A church member asked, during the Lord’s Supper, if we could have a prayer for her dog that had died earlier in the week.”
2. “A church member called, telling me her neighbor’s sheep were out in the road. Of course, I was supposed to help since I was her shepherd.”
3. “I officiated a funeral where the family did the wave and hit beach balls during the service.”
4. “A lady called me to let me know her son-in-law wasn’t praying long enough before his bed time. She felt I needed to counsel him.”
5. “A church member was a funeral home director. He called me frequently to help him pick up just-deceased bodies.”
6. “A church member called to request I euthanize an injured rabbit.”
7. “I was asked by a church member to bury a dog.”
8. “I got a call from a church member asking me to inform a lady she has grandkids she didn’t know about.”
9. “I was asked to baptize a body at a funeral.”
10. “A lady brought a chirping bird into a worship service and asked me to ignore it.”
11. “I was visiting a member of our church in the hospital. He insisted I hold his kidney stone. I was young, so I did.”
12. “A church member asked me to do a funeral for his horse.”
13. “A deacon, after checking on a clogged toilet in the men’s room, told the pastor, ‘You need to go to the men’s room with me. You’ve got to see this!’”
14. “A church member asked me to put her mother’s funeral on my calendar. She wasn’t dead.”
15. “I was asked to wear a crushed velvet hat for a wedding.”
16. “A church member asked me to do an imitation of a character from The Princess Bride during the wedding ceremony.”
I have no doubt these stories are true. I’ve had many weird requests made of me as well.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Families' Fridays

Starting a Family Devotion Time by Michael Kelley I haven’t always been a family devotion guy. It’s not because I didn’t want or aspire to be, I honestly did. But we went a long time as a family before pulling the trigger and trying to integrate this practice into the regular rhythm of our family life.  We’ve been doing morning devotions together for about five years now – long enough to where our kids expect that we will. It’s a long road, as are most things with young children I’m finding out. Though revival doesn’t break out every morning over eggs and toast, our continued hope and prayer is that times like these build into the love and discipline our children will have in the future when it comes to God’s Word.  Through those five years, we’ve tried different things, failed at a bunch, and have learned some things along the way. So, as encouragement to those of you just starting out or maybe some affirmation for those of you already in ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why is no one trying to be like John the Baptist?

This Sunday morning the sermon was taken from John 3:22-36.  In that passage, two of the disciples of John come to him with the report that Jesus was now baptizing more people than John.  John's response is one of the most humble in all of Scripture.  It was in reading that response that a thought occurred to me.  With all the leadership and ministry books out there, why do we not have people picking up on the ministry style of John the Baptist?  Maybe I am a little cynical, but I guy who gets his head chopped off might be a bit of a tough sell in our success-driven marketplace.  Can you imagine the title?  "Five Easy Steps to Losing Your Head." I can't imagine that book making it on the Christian bestsellers list. Yet John the Baptist is a great example to those of us in ministry.  His clarity about his own place and role in the ministry are worthy of emulation.  Here are some of the observations I made as I looked at his response to ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Oops!

I can be a real klutz.  I have very few manual skills and I never grew out of the "tripping over my own feet" stage of life.  I have fumbled and dropped more than my fair share of balls. In other words, "oops" has been a regular part of my vocabulary. It is not only in the physical world that I have fumbled things.  I have messed up relationships.  I have prejudged people before ever getting to know them.  I have used and abused those who love me most in this world.  I have failed and sinned my way into more than one tight corner and created untold disasters.  Oops is not even sufficient for the ways that I have blown it. Perhaps that is why something Paul, our worship leader last Sunday, said resonated so deeply with me this week.  He said "Oops is never said in heaven."  Our God never is clumsy.  He never makes mistakes. His plans never go belly-up.  He never fails.  He never ever has to say oops - and that comforts me.
Post a Comment
Read more