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Families' Fridays

From Focus on the Family


10 helpful tips for single parents

Imagine this: you’re the sole parent for your children. You get them up, get them fed and send them to school. You do the housework, maybe you go to work yourself, you get home and you’re still the only adult there. There’s no one to relieve you. No one to pass the baton to while you take a shower or take a few minutes for yourself. You make dinner and gather the family around the table to eat. You play with them, read to them, give them baths, get them to bed and there’s no one there to sit with and process your day. There’s no one there to laugh with you or pray with you. Instead you keep working. You clean up the house again. You pack lunches for the next day. And you eventually crash into bed, knowing you’ll be doing the same thing tomorrow.

For many, this is not an imagined scenario. When you parent alone – whether due to divorce, the loss of your spouse or having a spouse who works away from home for long periods of time – trying to accept your new family situation can be an overwhelming reality. While parenting is an incredible joy, there are times when it’s just survival.

In her nearly 20 years as a single mom, Mary* found that the following strategies helped her and her kids not just survive, but thrive as a family. Read on for 10 tips that will help you create opportunities to strengthen the relationships between you and your children, your children and God, and you and God.

1. Take care of yourself

“Remember when you got on a plane and the flight attendant gave the safety lecture about putting on your own mask first, and then your child’s mask next?” marriage and family therapist Gary Brown frequently asks single parents. “There’s a reason for that. If you aren’t being taken care of, then you may not be able to take care of your child.”

This is something Mary had to learn to do when she found herself a single mom. For her, this meant taking the time to mourn the loss of her marriage, finding ways to recharge with a walk or gardening, and even giving herself time outs when she felt overwhelmed.

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