A theme seems to be developing in this week's posts, so to continue in the them I give you another excellent article by Steven Hunter. Original found HERE.
Now, don’t read anything into this. We do not have a problem at T’ville with young children. As a matter of fact, we have some tiny children at T’ville who are cute and precious. Most parents think that their children are distracting during worship when they make a sound or are unsettled, but they’re a stark reminder that — as my mentor once told me — “If you don’t hear crying, the church must be dying.” The sound of small children throughout the hallowed halls of worship is music to my ears. It’s a reminder that another generation is being nurtured in the admonition of the Lord. It’s also a celebration because we’re a place where folks with young children don’t mind attending. That said, let’s get to the subject at hand.
We don’t have a “children’s church” like some do. It’s not an issue that we should have one. I like worshiping with my family and not being separated, but that’s my preference. When our children were very small, Steph used to always bring them snacks and rattlers, or something. When they’re really small, and even when they’re brand new, their attention span is almost non-existent. However, at a certain age, Steph stopped bringing those things when they were old enough to grasp the concept that worship wasn’t a buffet or a play time. Our son is five, and I was complimented yesterday on how well-behaved he and my daughter are during worship. Little do some people know, mamma has to take out the boy everyone once in a while for a tune-up.
Our belief is, “If children can watch a two-hour movie without using the bathroom, asking for something to eat, or being distracted, they can sit through a one hour worship service without those distractions or breaks.” Our daughter who’s ten takes sermon notes. She’s far enough along that I don’t have to mention too much about her. But, no, she doesn’t bring any techy device to worship. No iPod, pad, or any other “eye” device. She brings her Bible and a notebook. She takes notes. She pays attention. She’s been a Christian for almost two years because she’s listened and learned and not entertained. One of her Sunday school teachers once told me that Bri knew more about the book of 1 Corinthians than he did. In fairness, she does have an advantage — me. When he gave the assignment of finding out all they could about the Corinthians, I had her read the entire first letter and then I let her look through a few of my New Testament books. She loves to read and research and learn. Because of that, she’s an active and not passive participant in worship.
My son, however, is a different story. Since he’s only five, his attention isn’t quiet up to par. Nevertheless, we have been, for a while, teaching him to bow and pray when we pray, and to sing when we sing. Since he can’t read too well, he’s memorized many of the songs and can sing them by heart. He does have paper and a notepad like big sis, but he “scribble-scrabbles” on it. When he’s old enough to write better, he’ll likely take notes too.
There really isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to this because all children are different. We only have two children while some have three to five. I imagine it would be harder with more children, but something else we’ve done with both of our children is to let them sit with older kids (high school to college age), and the example of the older kids whom they admire has helped tremendously. To give a few suggestions, I would say:
Now, don’t read anything into this. We do not have a problem at T’ville with young children. As a matter of fact, we have some tiny children at T’ville who are cute and precious. Most parents think that their children are distracting during worship when they make a sound or are unsettled, but they’re a stark reminder that — as my mentor once told me — “If you don’t hear crying, the church must be dying.” The sound of small children throughout the hallowed halls of worship is music to my ears. It’s a reminder that another generation is being nurtured in the admonition of the Lord. It’s also a celebration because we’re a place where folks with young children don’t mind attending. That said, let’s get to the subject at hand.
We don’t have a “children’s church” like some do. It’s not an issue that we should have one. I like worshiping with my family and not being separated, but that’s my preference. When our children were very small, Steph used to always bring them snacks and rattlers, or something. When they’re really small, and even when they’re brand new, their attention span is almost non-existent. However, at a certain age, Steph stopped bringing those things when they were old enough to grasp the concept that worship wasn’t a buffet or a play time. Our son is five, and I was complimented yesterday on how well-behaved he and my daughter are during worship. Little do some people know, mamma has to take out the boy everyone once in a while for a tune-up.
Our belief is, “If children can watch a two-hour movie without using the bathroom, asking for something to eat, or being distracted, they can sit through a one hour worship service without those distractions or breaks.” Our daughter who’s ten takes sermon notes. She’s far enough along that I don’t have to mention too much about her. But, no, she doesn’t bring any techy device to worship. No iPod, pad, or any other “eye” device. She brings her Bible and a notebook. She takes notes. She pays attention. She’s been a Christian for almost two years because she’s listened and learned and not entertained. One of her Sunday school teachers once told me that Bri knew more about the book of 1 Corinthians than he did. In fairness, she does have an advantage — me. When he gave the assignment of finding out all they could about the Corinthians, I had her read the entire first letter and then I let her look through a few of my New Testament books. She loves to read and research and learn. Because of that, she’s an active and not passive participant in worship.
My son, however, is a different story. Since he’s only five, his attention isn’t quiet up to par. Nevertheless, we have been, for a while, teaching him to bow and pray when we pray, and to sing when we sing. Since he can’t read too well, he’s memorized many of the songs and can sing them by heart. He does have paper and a notepad like big sis, but he “scribble-scrabbles” on it. When he’s old enough to write better, he’ll likely take notes too.
There really isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to this because all children are different. We only have two children while some have three to five. I imagine it would be harder with more children, but something else we’ve done with both of our children is to let them sit with older kids (high school to college age), and the example of the older kids whom they admire has helped tremendously. To give a few suggestions, I would say:
- Make them active participants as soon as possible. Since Bri was a baby, we’d always bow and return thanks before eating. One time I forgot and began eating, and that sweet little three-year old said, “Daddy, aren’t we gonna pray?” She was conditioned that we prayed before eating. If we condition our children to bow and pray when someone is praying, or to hold a song book even if they can’t sing while the congregation is singing, they’ll be conditioned that that’s what we do at this part of the service. The earlier the better.
- Don’t rely on pacifiers. Food, rattlers, and other things (even technology) is only a pacifier. It’s to keep the kids well-behaved so we are given the chance to pay attention. This gives a perception of worship as that of a time to be entertained or fed and not reverently coming before God to give him homage. We used them from the time the kids were newborns for that reason, but there has to be a logical cut-off period.
- Use older youth to serve as mentors. We have a few high school and college aged folks at T’ville that our children love to sit with during worship. We don’t mind too much because those people actually worship and set a good example for our children. If you don’t have youth to serve as this example, surely there’s some sweet little elderly woman who just gloats over your kids. They could sit with her. They’re likely to respect her and behave for her. I’ve always found that my kids are always better behaved for others than for me.
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